Doing Whatever It Takes: Mums Who Do It All
You often hear the term Supermum to describe those mothers who seem to be doing it all. The ones who work full time, volunteer as a coach for their kid’s soccer team, make delicious, well-balanced Bento boxes for lunch, whilst all the while looking effortlessly chic without a hair out of place.
Well, things are NEVER as they seem and it’s time we stop comparing ourselves to each other as a measure of our self-worth. Behind the outward appearance of having it all together, is more often than not, a woman who loses her cool or falls to pieces just as much as the rest of us. And, then some. Having it all together on the outside, usually means dropping the balls on the inside.
The more realistic supermum describes a breed of women who are very real and very present. These are the women who are doing whatever it takes to look after their family, often at a high cost to their own health, happiness, career and even sanity.
Taking on extra shifts, working two jobs, juggling career and family life, looking after young children, or elderly parents, being in a loveless or disconnected marriage or a job that they hate, simply to provide for their family is more realistic snapshot of the supermum.
Their clothes are not perfectly ironed and their bake-sale contribution is bought from the grocery store, they don’t have helpers and work tirelessly to keep the household running somewhat smoothly and they seem to always be on the run.
Although it’s true that women have came a long way in bridging the gender-pay gap and have made huge headway in fighting against gender-based discrimination in the workplace, the fact is, women still carry the brunt of the work/home life balance. Despite being more highly educated and better employed than ever before, women still take on the lions share when it comes to household and family duties, despite how extensive their work commitments may be.
So the question is … how does this imbalance affect women?
The answer is complicated and obviously differs from case to case. Generally speaking there are some obvious and real affects:
Women are ten times more likely than men to take a temporary break from employment upon the birth of a child. This means that not only is their career path temporarily interrupted so too is their earning capacity.
Women are eight times more likely than men to look after sick children or manage their children’s schedules, which takes time out of their work life and adds to their regular daily responsibilities.
- After becoming a mother, women are far more likely to change jobs and seek employment options that offer greater flexibility or that allows them to work from home. This can often result in lower pay.
- Women are far more likely to stop working or reduce their work schedule than men in order to care for elderly family members, which can either see them removed from the workforce entirely or dramatically reduces their time with in it. This cuts their career prospects, opportunity for raises and promotions as well as cutting their earnings and their ability to save for important things like retirement.
- Aside from the obvious financial and career impacts, women have less time to care for themselves, their health and wellbeing and are more stressed.
So what can we do about it?
Although it does feel like women are still being overworked and underpaid, there are things that can be done to combat the imbalance in the home, office and political arena:
- Be fiscally proactive from the get go. If having a family and taking time out of the workforce to look after your children is something that you see in your future then plan for it early on in your career. Put some extra money aside each week or accrue extra leave in anticipation of future circumstances.
- Challenge traditional gender roles. Women are taught that they are ultimately responsible for the majority of family duties. In this day and age this is an antiquated concept that needs to be addressed. It won’t happen overnight but women need to fight back against these traditional gender roles and create a more equal distribution of duties at home. Women need to be proactive in sharing the load with their partner.
- Support affordable childcare and paid family leave. Australia has become a lot better with providing parental leave for both mums and dads, but that doesn’t mean that we have a system that supports both genders equally, yet. Childcare, especially long day care, can be very expensive. It is vital that we continue to put pressure on our politicians to support working parents as much as possible.
- Encourage your workplace to adopt flexible work arrangements. Many businesses are becoming open to adopting more flexible work arrangements for valued employees, allowing them to create a more harmonious work/life balance. Try to have an open relationship with your employee and encourage them to implement work practices conducive to working parents.
Although so many women are still burning the candle at both ends in trying to do it all for their family, whilst pursuing a career and providing for their families, times are changing. We must delegate to our partners and children to pitch in and forego that mentality of “I’ll just do it.”
The pay and gender inequality gap, with continued persistence, political pressure and practical support, will hopefully allow women to share the burden more equally when it comes to home/work/life balance.